Submission and Sex Work: Why is Kinky GFE So Lucrative? A How-To Guide for SWers

Since coming out of the domme closet, I've been inundated with new admirers, gifts, and prosperity has rained down upon me from the Hooker Heavens like never before. Combining GFE with domme is known as Kinky GFE and in the interest of helping other SWers financially succeed, I'm breaking down what this elusive service truly is and how to market it effectively.

I suppose I've always been accidentally marketing myself as a domme for years because I have RBF (Resting Bitch Face) and look very sultry without trying. Black, red, white and pink are my brand colors and I suppose they all give domme: Black is the slightly sadistic femme fatale. Red is the fiery domme. White is the angelic Mommy domme and pink signifies the bubble gum sweet domme. I've always had opinions I share publicly and this, without my realizing it, attracts men who like women who aren't afraid to be dominant.

Men who love dominant femmes have always approached me asking me to have my way with them and I have been providing Kinky GFE for a few years before I openly advertised this experience. I think this is partially who I present as to the world: As a Virgo rising, it seems like I have my shit together. Controlled, meticulous, analytical, communicative, caring yet perfectionistic. All qualities that scream, "Open to topping you."

I like vanilla too. Sigh.

I'm Going to Scare Away My Vanilla Clients!

"I'm going to scare away my vanilla escorting clients!" I'd fret, thinking, "Many men are misogynistic and see SWers as inanimate objects lacking depth. Most can't comprehend that we're multifaceted and enjoy a more submissive vanilla experience as well as dominating men depending on the mood, our partner and circumstance."

My belief was that my clients who seek to "be the man" and want a sweet companion will be turned off by my blogs and social media posts playing the domme. This is true. We must be ok with appealing to a smaller number of more generous clients if we lean into kinky GFE marketing. However, I have found that many of my vanilla clients book me because they like wild women in bed and domme gives "fiery, passionate lover" to them. Some vanilla men want a pillow princess and some seek a more active partner, despite being vanilla and not seeking out kinks themselves.

I'm ok with provoking people. In fact, I may enjoy it. SWers who advertise Kinky GFE should know that they're going to turn off more "traditional" men who think providers who offer domme sessions are bitches. This is a common stereotype I've heard clients and other SWers reinforcing. A SWer friend told me she couldn't do domme because she's "not a bitch." Honey, taking control does not equate to being mean.

Yes, some clients seek humiliation sessions but that's less common, in my experience.

Part of the domme experience is that domination happens during the confines of a session. Dommes are often very sweet, compassionate and respectful with their subs. Many dommes provide a kind, gentle experience while commanding men who seek to serve.

Many men do comprehend that SWers are multifaceted and are providing an experience. They get that we can be both submissive at times and dominant at times. These are the men who book me. Read my blog on the paradox that is human sexuality here to understand my views on why so many pro-dommes are secret switches.

If we truly don't enjoy being dominant at times then, in my opinion, we shouldn't pursue kinky GFE. It ain't for you, girl. Try pro-sub? Getting tied up by a stranger with no security present is a very dangerous undertaking and many of the SWers I've known who do pro-sub have ended up in tears.

That isn't an experience to undertake lightly. A friend of mine would cry all the time, having mini-mental breakdowns because she was pro-subbing on the DL. It's not something I think anyone should do with strangers (if they are fully restrained) without a safety person present.

That's part of the appeal of Kinky GFE: I'm doing the restraining so I don't have to worry about any non-consensual behavior.

You Can't Escape Me

What Is Kinky GFE?

My Kinky GFE clients are quite a bit of work because I'm not just providing emotional intimacy and labor, I'm also providing a domme experience that fluctuates throughout the session. Oh yeah, I almost forgot: I'm also providing a sexual, erotic experience. Vanilla clients are much less labor intensive and "easier" in that there's no prep beforehand.

Kinky GFE often requires my studying a script or studying their answers to my Kink Questionnaire (more info to come) and taking notes as to how the session will play out. I have sat before sessions, studying my notes and repeating my lines like an actor. I've had to research books, on YouTube, ask other SWers and learn quite a bit in order to provide kink sessions.

Kinky GFE combines kinky domme aspects, like restraint, with sex. The sex may be peen in vag, oral, handsy or possibly just making out and not full service. Sometimes no sexual activity is involved. Each Kinky GFE admirer wants something different. Some want a Mommy and some want a girlfriend who restrains them. Most don't want any severe pain inflicted so few supplies are needed. This is frequently a mental game of roleplay where I'm the dominant sexual partner taking what I need from him.

As I've discussed before, we all have egos that crave different things. Some of us have egos that crave nurturing and seek a more mothering figure. Some crave to please and satisfy, finding comfort in feeling needed. Knowing that he made me reach climax is what arouses him because pleasing others strokes his ego.

Kinky GFE clients seek to lose control in some way. Sometimes they have an entire roleplay planned out and sometimes they want me to plan a scene. Sometimes they're restrained and I ride them until I orgasm and sometimes I tease them, edge them, getting them close and then letting them down over and over. They rarely want to be humiliated and rarely seek out any extreme pain, as I said, but one of my sweetest clients wants me to stand on his chest in stilettos and thigh highs while he looks up at me, enjoying the idea of worshipping me. Then we do a little facesitting and cowgirl fucking with the goal being my orgasm. Serving others is a joy to most Kinky GFE lovers.

Some enjoy it when I dress them up in robes and stockings as a way to get turned on by femininity. Some want to be spanked or paddled in order to be punished because being bad arouses them. Nipple play, CBT, sensual "wrestling" are a few common kinks I often enjoy providing. Many men secretly crave diving into femininity in various ways, such as requesting that I bend them over, taking them with a strap-on or dildo. Using my long nails to scratch and tease them is lots of fun as well. Forcing a man to serve me by making him lick up his mess is a highly intoxicating experience for many.

Being bad, wrong, deviant and dirty is what gets many of us off.

I'm not a professional rigger but I do enjoy restraining men in different ways while taking what I am owed and what I desire. My rope skills may be nonexistent but that's not the point: It's about me taking control sexually and a guy who wants a skilled rigger will go to a dungeon so I don't care to learn rigging. Plus, it's very difficult to rig with long nails so I haven't taken classes. I slap some handcuffs or rope around their wrists and I'm satisfied so long as they're restrained.

A few activities are so naughty I can't list them publicly without truly terrifying the vanillas (and a few of my kinky guys) but suffice to say, I go where other providers won't go with ease. Almost nothing bothers me.

I could go on and on for hours listing the different ways that Kinky GFE plays out behind closed doors. Tickling, foot jobs, the list is endless and this is why I created my Kink Questionnaire. This list of questions, based on the questions we asked clients at a dungeon, is sent to my kink clients once I receive their deposit so I know exactly what experience they seek.

Time to Teach You How to Serve Me

How To Market Kinky GFE

Marketing is an art and marketing Kinky GFE requires more skill than marketing regular companionship and possibly requires more skill that marketing cut and dry dominatrix sessions. Dommes who are experienced are very skilled, that's not what I'm saying so please don't kill me. (Or do, just be sure you're wearing a black latex catsuit and Cat Woman claws.) Kinky GFE requires going just far enough into kinky domme territory that I attract those clients while not going full bore into, "I'm an evil sadist!" dominatrix marketing.

Additionally, many Kinky GFE providers advertise in the escort section and provide many non-domme sessions so we still have to appeal to the guys who are turned off by a woman who's dominant. I don't think most SWers can successfully market themselves this way because it requires attention to detail, nuance and a high level of intelligence.

Actually, many of ya'll could successfully market Kinky GFE but it requires a lot of effort.

Leaning into domme while still appealing to vanilla clients isn't easy and I sometimes wonder if I've strayed too far onto the dark side because I have so may Kinky GFE clients. As I said, most men don't get that I (and my SWers, and many humans) am both a domme and a sub. Many vanilla escorting clients imagine that I'll be a total cunt during a session, trying to pinch their nipples or whatever. 😂

As I have previously said, unless a client books a session involving domme, I'm a sweet and laid back companion during sessions. Maybe even a bit submissive depending on what my comfort level is and whether I feel like losing control. Yes, I'm discussing the fact that I can be submissive in a domme blog. My clients understand that women are complex and often we seek to dominate. At times, we want others to take the lead.

Also, we live in an attention economy where our marketing must be extremely focused. Make one mistake in our ad copy and we've lost that particular client to the 4,000 other NYC Tryst profiles advertising companionship. (Despite many of these SWers not actually being available in NYC due to Tryst's three homebase enshittification)

Crop = Kinky

A) Pose with a crop.

Sadly, I've yet to actually use my crop during a session because cropping is probably something clients go to straight up dommes for. I know how to use it and have taken lessons from a dominatrix but no one wants me to crop them, which makes me very, very sad.

I'm thinking of using my crop on my next admirer who's open to it. Any takers?

The crop is merely a prop symbolizing: I'm willing to take control if you so desire.

Screenshot from my Tryst.link

B) Use the fuck out of the word "kinky."

Clients who seek a provider who offers both GFE and domme often are on the lookout for little clues denoting our enjoyment of non-vanilla activities. "Kinky" should be in the headline of all our ads, our website and social medias.

I sometimes wonder if I should remove the word "domme" from my Bluesky bio because it probably scares off guys who seek companionship but, I've never made this much money before so something is working. I'll keep it for now. I don't know if I'd recommend other companions use this word unless they're ready to provide a lot of kinky sessions.

CrossFitters: doing the most while never building muscle. Not quite what I had in mind.

C) Pose with rope.

Do I really need to explain this one? Get some rope and/or handcuffs.

Filming videos of ourselves looking sultry and a bit superior while posing with these restraints is very effective. Videos (unfiltered! Everyone can clock a filter in 2025.) are the key to my success because clients know that we edit our photos.

D) Blog about kink

I've been blogging for a few years as a SW (starting on my old website) but was afraid to blog about kink due to my worry regarding scaring vanilla clients. Then I had an awakening and realized my gift as a communicator who's meant to disrupt and I began to write a few kinky blogs. More are on the way so be sure to subscribe via my main blog page.

I'm writing a separate blog post on what has worked for me in terms of blogging when it comes to landing clients. My blog is why I've booked so many extended dates since I began writing in an authentic fashion. It truly touches my heart when my admirers tell me I "spoke to their soul" with my writing because I do put a piece of me into this. When we get intimate and vulnerable within our SW personas we do risk and get rejected. The insecure will mock us.

We also obtain a smaller number of extremely generous admirers who book us because we bare it all, admit our faults, our triumphs and our weirdness. They may not empathize but they are excited by getting to know the real person beneath the persona, something most SWers never reveal publicly.

E) Shoot photos/videos in corsets, thigh highs, and heels.

Corsets, thigh highs and heels won't scare away vanilla suitors the way a crop will. These tools appeal to both non-kinky and kinky admirers.

Many clients, not just Kinky GFE clients, love thigh highs and heels. The soft feeling of stockings transports admirers back to their sexual awakenings and first discovery of the power of femininity. Coating the legs, the portal to the most sacred puss, the Holy Giver of Life, stockings have enthralled both wearers and onlookers since their invention. Read my blog on stockings and SW if you're interested in discovering why my admirers are so obsessed with them.

Clients book me solely because they want to feel my long legs while I'm wearing thigh highs. It's a no brainer to shoot content in them. One of my thigh high suitors gifts me Wolford stockings and they aren't my favorite. $10 Amazon thigh highs are better. Yes, I can easily afford to spend $60+ on stockings but I hate consumerist culture and would rather not seek happiness through buying shit. (Shopping is a former addiction I know all too well.)

I wear "Plus size" thigh highs because I'm not a size 2 and apparently all stockings are made for people who are 115 lbs which I think is super weird. Anyone who weight lifts and weighs over 120 lbs will have to order thigh highs online.

Corsets are classic dominatrix attire. Anything tight, restrictive that covers the body yet showcases it signifies domme. You can buy a quality corset online. I like this site because their corsets really do what corsets are supposed to do. It's about hyper-femininity.

I can't actually walk in heels due to the ankle surgeries I've had but IDGAF. I will continue posing in them until Holy Death takes me home. This is why I reuse the same shoes for my content because I have no actual use for a pair of stilettos.

F) Get into their heads.

According to the masterpiece and bestselling book The Art of Seduction (a book every SW should read), seduction isn't about looks. Some of the most prolific seducers, like Cleopatra, weren't all that beautiful. They knew how to restrain themselves and give each suitor exactly what he was missing in his life. Skilled seducers know exactly how to stroke their lover's ego.

Some of us naturally know what it is that kinky clients crave. Once we've had a few sessions providing kink or a few kinky lovers, those of us who are perceptive will know exactly what need they're seeking to have fulfilled via kink. I make social media posts playing to this audience and yes, I may turn off potential vanilla suitors but there are so many vanilla providers nowadays that it's not even worth it to me to showcase my vanilla side.

I would just be another attractive woman in a sea of 4,000 attractive women who list an escort ad on NYC Tryst. Most of these SWers aren't actually available in NYC but every day, more and more femmes get sick of fucking and providing emotional labor for free, entering into the SW world.

What sets us apart? Showcasing our weirdness, as previously discussed.

I don't get too weird with my social media posts because I am a companion who also enjoys vanilla sessions. Getting into the weeds talking about CBT or hardcore dominatrix activities on social media isn't for Kinky GFE providers who want to book vanilla clients. I hint at taking control, at intimidation in a sensual manner by posting about "making you mine," and, "obsessing" my audience. Words are energy in motion and have real power.

I don't seduce with my looks, although I'm attractive enough. I seduce with my words and the stories I tell with my images.

It's very hard for me to give detailed instructions on specifically what to say because this must be natural to each Kinky GFE provider. Even through a screen, we can sense one another's energy and tell if someone is faking it.

There are a few websites aside from Tryst that I think can be useful for booking kink clients but I won't publicly list those. Email me.

Please leave a comment on my Bluesky post advertising this blog if you thought I said something interesting. I love hearing feedback from other SWers. Liking, commenting and reposting helps me to know that someone is reading these posts and enjoying them!

If you're not a SW and enjoy my videos, photos and writing, thank me by gifting me something lovely from my Luxylist. Gift cards can be sent to gift_mexoxo@outlook.com