Time Wasting Texters: Why Some Sex Workers Don't Publicly List a Phone Number

I've had it. I can't take it anymore. Something's gotta give.

If I get one more text from a jujubee who hasn't read my ad or my website, but merely glanced at my photos, I will set up an appointment with him just to slowly, deliciously, torture him and feed him to my cat.

As I've previously discussed, a few SWers on anonymous SW X were up in arms a few years ago when I tweeted about removing my phone number from ads and stated that clients who have read our ads and are serious about booking can take a few seconds and email us. The post was very popular and received hundreds of likes and positive comments but this, unfortunately, attracted the attention of the more miserable side of SW X: the "anons" who shit talk and complain on anonymous accounts.

An anon claimed I was, "costing other SWers their rent money," and it truly hurt me, because the last thing I wanted to do was harm another worker's business. (Although, they really shouldn't be running their business based upon the ideas floated by other workers on X, of all places.)

Why do some providers feel as though they need to list a phone number? Why can this be such a divisive topic when discussed online?

Providers have very different opinions and experiences regarding phone numbers. I kept hearing from other workers about how listing a phone number made them money. Yet, people who texted me rarely booked. Even when touring and available last minute at an incall, the clients who texted never actually booked. Read on, as I attempt to psychoanalyze the Time Wasting Texter and why texting does work for some workers.

Some people inexplicably text SWers the Tryst texting template that clearly instructs them to send pertinent information. Instead of sending said pertinent booking info, they send a lovely 2AM, "Hru bby wya omw ilu uwu"

What am I Doing Wrong?

I thought I wasn't booking clients via text because I had autoreply on, and clients who texted wanted to know I was "real," and a text somehow proves that while an email doesn't. This, obviously, makes no sense. But I could understand the logic, maybe.

I then removed my autoreply and started sending a copy/paste message instead, letting them know what screening info I needed as well as reiterating the information posted on my ad/website that they usually never read, like "Incall requires a $150 fee and advance notice. I live in NYC. I cannot be in Long Island within an hour unless you are willing to shell out for an Uber."

I would personalize these texts by responding with their name (although they usually didn't have the decency to treat me like a human and introduce themselves). If they asked whether I was available, I'd respond with a "Yes, I'm available at X time," and also responded to other questions.

Still, I had little luck when it came to texters. I was spending quite a bit of energy going back and forth with dudes who didn't read my ad/site and spoon-feeding them info. Once they discovered the fact that I don't host at my home (and therefore had an incall fee), they generally weren't willing to pay the fee and would go silent. Or they thought I was in Long Island because, as usual, they wouldn't read my ad and would disappear once I told them that it would take a few hours for me to get to them if they weren't willing to cover my Uber costs.

Texting is Too Easy

Here's the problem: Texting is too easy. Emailing is also extremely easy and takes around the same amount of time, yet Time Wasters are far less likely to email. (A Time Waster is someone who doesn't read a SWers ad/site and/or isn't serious about booking. They oftentimes seek free conversation and/or seek to ask dumb questions that can be answered by reading a SWers ad because... They can.)

I noticed certain patterns when it came to texts: They were almost always in Long Island. If they'd actually read my ad, they'd know that I live in NYC and therefore can't get to LI within an hour unless they pay for an Uber, which they were never willing to do.

Texters usually contact me after 10pm when I'm not in SWer mode. I'm not wearing makeup, my hair is freshly washed and air drying (I don't blow-dry), and I'm probably unwinding/trying to relax. They expect providers to be sitting around, ready, at an incall 24/7. They don't understand that, just like how they don't want a SW coming to their home, SWers don't want strangers from the internet to come to their home for obvious reasons.

They'd say, "I can come to you."

No, you can't.

Receiving work texts between 10pm and 4am is extremely annoying and distracting. These late night texters were always in Long Island, so it's doubly annoying because they were never willing to pay for the Uber I'd require to get there. Again, if they'd read my ad then they would have known that I don't live in Long Island and last minute sessions there require transportation fees.

Also, a text feels more immediate. Even though I get notified (usually) of work emails as soon as they're sent, a text feels very off-the-cuff, like the provider will be available last minute which I am, at times. But not in Long Island at 10pm without an Uber. A provider who lists a phone number is signaling, "I'm available now." These guys would rather text me and ask if I'm available in LI rather than taking a minute to read my ad.

I only booked a few clients in the past year via text, and two of them informed me that they'd been watching me for a year. This means, IMHO, they would have emailed me to book. Some providers have a high tolerance for BS and these Fantasy Bookers/trolls/Time Wasters don't bother them. For those of us who are energetically sensitive, it's a huge waste of energy to go back and forth with individuals who aren't willing to read our ads and want us to spoon-feed them publicly listed info like the babies they generally are.

It's worth it to me to lose an occasional one off booking if I don't have to spoon-feed texters daily, thinking I'm possibly obtaining a booking for it to, 99% of the time, be someone who is not serious about or willing to seeing me. I end up disappointed and energetically depleted whereas these sorts of interactions don't bother less sensitive workers.

It's frustrating and an energy drain, for some of us, to think we're potentially getting a booking when, 99% of the time, we're not. Getting texts from Time Wasters (who don't read ads), usually past 10pm, is also very distracting and it's simply not worth the small amount of money I may earn to be distracted all day.

A Case Study in Time Wastery

Take this guy as a case study: Many of the guys who text simply aren't sure they even want to see a provider. This happened twice when I was in Baltimore: Someone texted wanting "now" but I was still on the train to B'more and said that I'd be available later that night or the next day. They say that after 7pm would work, then ghost only to message me at 1AM and 5PM two day later when I'm clearly, if they actually paid attention, no longer in Baltimore. I let him know that I'm returning to Baltimore for two nights that weekend and I don't hear back from one of these guys until 11:30 PM on Saturday. He says he's 45 minutes outside of Baltimore and that "Ubers don't drop off to his location," (a lie to get out of providing an Uber) and told me he thought I had a car in Baltimore, despite my living in NYC and telling him I was taking the train to Baltimore.

Another person in B'more did the exact same thing: Waited until I was gone to contact me again two days later. When I tell them that I'll be back, they ghost or text me silly stuff to get out of paying for an Uber and aren't willing to come to me.

Now, I want you to imagine these extremely frustrating situations happening constantly. It can be exhausting.

Providers who advertise on sites like STG and MP will have a totally different experience. If we do see clients from our homes, if we're available last minute, and maybe have a lower rate then we may actually book clients frequently via text and will publicly list a phone number.

Or maybe I'm doing it all wrong. Who knows. Other SWers are truly split down the middle regarding texts: Some, who charge close to what I do, say most of their clients who book do so via text. Others say they are very happy to be email only providers and texters drove them crazy.

In summation, I am so excited to no longer be tormented by Texting Time Wasters. I have worked hard enough, and am skilled enough at prosperity energy work/magic that I can afford to lose the occasional last minute client who can't comprehend that emails are also instantaneous. If a client wants to see me "last minute," they can email me and I'll immediately receive it.

However, I may list a SW phone number again because I may be setting up a permanent incall and would occasionally be available last minute. Texters are usually ordering "Doordash pussy," as another worker described it, and want last minute incalls because they don't feel comfortable with providers and don't want us vising their homes or hotels. Texters are far less likely to turn into long term regulars but can still help to increase profits.

There is a texting app that allows one to automate responses to texts based on the words/phrases sent by the texter. I will be using this service if I list a SW number again and am very grateful to the SW who told me about this. If the text contains the word, "Long Island," I can use this service to automate a response saying, "I live in NYC. As my ad/website state...blah blah blah."

If I'm touring or am actually "available now" at an incall, I'll probably list a phone number on Tryst.

Every provider has a different experience and this is simply mine.

Do you like supporting sex workers? Don't forget to like, comment and repost my Bluesky post promoting this blog! I'm grateful for your love and support. ❤️